You do not have to 'earn' rest

I am (slowly and surely) learning to take holidays, take sick days when I need to, and build in white space to the schedule. This has become alot more natural the more I have practiced and realised things don't fall apart (SHOCK).  However there are still times it creeps back in, like today when I have cancelled my second day of sessions due to health and the guilt of letting people down, stress of where I will fit in the extra appts , and the inner critic starts speaking loudly.  

I have learnt to in these moments cultivate self compassion. I often ask myself how I could act or speak more compassionately to myself, or even what would I tell a client or friend if they were sitting here thinking this way? 

This mindful self compassion has helped in acceptance of both the uncomfortable feelings, and also shifting my mindset to one of gentler tones, and kinder words. It has reminded me that I don't need to earn rest, I can just have it when it is needed. I love the work of Dr Kristen Neff, who is a leader in mindful self compassion if you are keen to learn more.

Simple Mindful Self Compassion Exercise:

The Self Compassion Break (less then 5 mins)

Think of a situation in your life that is difficult, that is causing you stress. Call the situation to mind, and see if you can actually feel the stress and emotional discomfort in your body.

 

Now, say to yourself:

1. This is a moment of suffering

That’s mindfulness. Other options include:

• This hurts.
• Ouch.
• This is stress.

2. Suffering is a part of life

That’s common humanity. Other options include:

• Other people feel this way.
• I’m not alone.
• We all struggle in our lives.

Now, put your hands over your heart, feel the warmth of your hands and the gentle touch of your hands on your chest. Or adopt the soothing touch you discovered felt right for you.

 

3. May I be kind to myself

You can also ask yourself, “What do I need to hear right now to express kindness to myself?” Is there a phrase that speaks to you in your particular situation, such as:

• May I give myself the compassion that I need
• May I learn to accept myself as I am
• May I forgive myself
• May I be strong
• May I be patient

This practice can be used any time of day or night and will help you remember to evoke the three aspects of self-compassion when you need it most.